1
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:18,060
He was dressed in white and he was a
knight.

2
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,820
That's why they called him.

3
00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:34,400
He had a white horse and a coat

4
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:38,700
matching accessories.

5
00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:26,100
He's not white.

6
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:31,840
He's a sort of creamy, beigey colour.
Yeah, the creamy, beigey knight.

7
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:35,380
You can't call him the creamy, beigey
knight. It's ridiculous.

8
00:01:36,020 --> 00:01:39,060
You certainly can't call him the white
knight. That's a zonking great

9
00:01:39,060 --> 00:01:41,740
fibberoonie. Well, what can we call him,
then?

10
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,000
The whitish knight.

11
00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:11,500
Why can't he have a bowl of muesli like
everybody else?

12
00:02:11,900 --> 00:02:16,140
There's his piece of cosy. Not that
it'll do him any harm, more's the pity.

13
00:02:16,140 --> 00:02:18,000
can cover this lot with sulfuric acid.

14
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,460
He'll shovel it down our arse for
seconds.

15
00:02:20,700 --> 00:02:21,700
There's his paper.

16
00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:24,980
I swallowed a live chicken claim. Record
-breaking note.

17
00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:27,180
Interesting, that, isn't it? No, it's
garbage.

18
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:31,940
He eats garbage, he reads garbage, and
he smells like a sumo wrestler's laundry

19
00:02:31,940 --> 00:02:36,080
basket. There's his post. Oh, his
library book's over, Jim. Probably eaten

20
00:02:36,180 --> 00:02:40,390
One bill, couple of bribes. a postcard
from Jerusalem, and one of those things

21
00:02:40,390 --> 00:02:41,329
about French windows.

22
00:02:41,330 --> 00:02:44,910
What is so? How about installing this
attractive patio and French windows in

23
00:02:44,910 --> 00:02:47,910
your castle? It could be cheaper than
you think. Not that, the postcard.

24
00:02:48,310 --> 00:02:49,310
Oh.

25
00:02:49,330 --> 00:02:54,510
Um... Dear John, having a wonderful
crusade, wish you were here, Baxter and

26
00:02:54,510 --> 00:02:55,309
Swithin's Day.

27
00:02:55,310 --> 00:02:56,310
On its way,

28
00:02:58,470 --> 00:02:59,470
Your Majesty!

29
00:03:00,190 --> 00:03:03,370
Jerusalem. That's not in England, is it?
It's foreign. Who's it from?

30
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,090
Not so loved Dick. Ah, Dick.

31
00:03:07,690 --> 00:03:09,130
Yes, you take up his breakfast.

32
00:03:09,410 --> 00:03:13,710
No. I said you take up his breakfast.
But every time I take up his breakfast,

33
00:03:13,790 --> 00:03:15,190
that's because you know he'll be in a
bad mood.

34
00:03:15,410 --> 00:03:18,990
It's that postcard, isn't it? No, it is
not, and I order you to take up his

35
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:19,990
breakfast.

36
00:04:25,710 --> 00:04:26,710
I think it's a table decoration.

37
00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:29,350
A hat and a table decoration.

38
00:04:29,750 --> 00:04:32,830
That's what you've robbed from the rich,
is it? Well, there's this.

39
00:04:36,430 --> 00:04:38,970
Isn't he sweet? He's so sweet.

40
00:04:40,010 --> 00:04:42,090
Let's go and find you a little friend,
shall we?

41
00:04:43,610 --> 00:04:45,650
Would you like this teddy for your very
own?

42
00:04:46,110 --> 00:04:47,750
No. Of course you would.

43
00:04:47,970 --> 00:04:50,110
No, I wouldn't. It's really tacky.

44
00:04:50,770 --> 00:04:52,450
Don't say that. You'll make him cry.

45
00:04:52,690 --> 00:04:54,050
Now, what shall we call him?

46
00:04:54,630 --> 00:04:59,700
Ripoff? Yes, Ripper. That's a nice name.
Right, so who wants the hat?

47
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:05,460
He's in a bad mood, isn't he? Bad mood
doesn't describe it. He's completely

48
00:05:05,460 --> 00:05:06,319
his rag.

49
00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:09,980
Oh, yeah, I reckon, by remind, he's
angry, he's scared and his job's on the

50
00:05:09,980 --> 00:05:13,700
line. Gary, we're going to have to give
our dearly beloved visitor the biggest

51
00:05:13,700 --> 00:05:16,260
welcome home party in the history of
catering, OK?

52
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:21,080
Otherwise, we're likely to be fitted to
the royal battering ram and used as a

53
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:22,240
silencer. Right.

54
00:05:22,620 --> 00:05:25,220
Now, I want you to write this down. Yes,
sire. But excuse me, sire, there's

55
00:05:25,220 --> 00:05:28,420
flags and bunting and all the other
rubbish people hang up when they're

56
00:05:28,420 --> 00:05:32,880
pretending to have a good time. I want
jugglers and fire eaters and one of

57
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:36,620
huge inflatable pig's bladders for the
kids to bounce up and down on. A bit of

58
00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:38,060
food. Not just a bit of food, Gary.

59
00:05:38,340 --> 00:05:42,940
We're going to have lobsters in jelly,
baby swans on toast, hedgehogs in aspic.

60
00:05:42,980 --> 00:05:44,040
Food on! Food on!

61
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,440
He used that really swanky stuff William
the Conqueror used when he had his

62
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,720
famous tea break at the Battle of
Hastings, 1066.

63
00:05:56,120 --> 00:06:00,600
No, quarter past 11, I think it was. And
we'll make the whole thing a big

64
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:05,300
surprise. He'll have been away for years
and years, and he'll open the castle

65
00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:11,460
gate, and there'll be nobody there to
greet him. And then, and then, oh, yes,

66
00:06:11,540 --> 00:06:13,060
that's it.

67
00:06:13,300 --> 00:06:16,340
Oh, that's really sweet. He'll love
that.

68
00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:18,560
What? How long have we got? When's he
due back?

69
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:20,520
It's been Swithin's day. When's that?

70
00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:21,980
Ah.

71
00:06:22,380 --> 00:06:26,180
Um... Pink, come on. It's Swithin's day.
It's Swithin's day. Hello.

72
00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:28,760
Happy Swithin's day.

73
00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:31,100
Now, let me get this clear.

74
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:36,760
My men have spent the entire morning
risking torture and death in order to

75
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:42,080
provide you with hats, table decorations
and soft toys, and not one of you wants

76
00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:43,200
them? No.

77
00:06:44,220 --> 00:06:46,020
Nothing more we can do to help you?

78
00:06:46,380 --> 00:06:48,360
No. OK, fine.

79
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:50,800
Thanks for your attention.

80
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,260
Come on, lads. We're wasting our time.

81
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,620
We'll go to another village where we're
appreciated.

82
00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:02,220
So people realise we're... What's the
word?

83
00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:03,279
Rip -off.

84
00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:06,260
I beg your pardon? If they don't want
him, I do.

85
00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:09,500
Come on, Robin.

86
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:12,600
Right, men.

87
00:07:12,860 --> 00:07:13,860
Here we are.

88
00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:18,840
Now, search the huts for food, then
round up the little ones.

89
00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:21,860
Give them a good going over with the
knit comb and bring them back to the

90
00:07:21,860 --> 00:07:24,320
castle. Just the little ones, mind you.

91
00:07:24,580 --> 00:07:29,580
And remember, the people of this
community look to us for law and order.

92
00:07:29,580 --> 00:07:32,500
violence unless it's absolutely
necessary.

93
00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:51,349
What do you mean?

94
00:07:51,350 --> 00:07:55,890
Let's face it. Nobody wants our help.
We're about as much use as a reindeer at

95
00:07:55,890 --> 00:07:56,869
cricket match.

96
00:07:56,870 --> 00:08:00,230
I'm sorry, lad, but I'm afraid we're not
the merry men any longer.

97
00:08:00,750 --> 00:08:03,050
We're the miserable, unemployed men.

98
00:08:04,110 --> 00:08:07,950
Never mind. It was good while it lasted.
It was better than being on a youth

99
00:08:07,950 --> 00:08:08,909
training scheme.

100
00:08:08,910 --> 00:08:10,450
You could hang your woolly on it.

101
00:08:10,670 --> 00:08:15,510
Pardon? When it was your turn to bowl,
you could take your woolly off and hang

102
00:08:15,510 --> 00:08:17,010
it on the reindeer's antlers.

103
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:22,120
Finding another job for you isn't going
to be easy, is it, Rabies?

104
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,460
If only the king were here.

105
00:08:25,740 --> 00:08:28,700
Yeah, he could chop our heads off and
put us out of our misery.

106
00:08:28,980 --> 00:08:31,480
No, not John, his brother, the real
king.

107
00:08:31,740 --> 00:08:32,740
What, Richard?

108
00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:36,700
Yes, if he came back, things would be
different, wouldn't they? I don't know,

109
00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:40,299
hasn't been here for ten years. He's
been off on the first crusade, shooting

110
00:08:40,299 --> 00:08:41,419
people in Beirut.

111
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:46,660
He's noble and kind and loves his
people. Yeah, before he left England, he

112
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:52,160
to King John, Brother, whilst I'm away,
rule my subjects wisely and well. For if

113
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:57,140
thou dost not, then on my return my
wrath shall fall upon you. And I shall

114
00:08:57,140 --> 00:08:58,280
you a right going over.

115
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:01,720
And he's really gentle? And all the
forest creatures love him? Yeah.

116
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:06,220
If he was at a cricket match, all the
reindeer would come up to him and lick

117
00:09:06,220 --> 00:09:08,540
him. And I bet he's really dishy, too.

118
00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:13,760
All strong and thoughtful and
dependable. The sort of bloke you'd go

119
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:14,880
were really in trouble.

120
00:09:15,140 --> 00:09:15,999
Like us.

121
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:20,610
Us? If people wanted help, they'd go to
an armless octopus before they came to

122
00:09:20,610 --> 00:09:21,890
us. That's not true.

123
00:09:22,190 --> 00:09:23,190
Yes, it is.

124
00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:26,570
Marion, we want your help.

125
00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:32,230
No, it isn't. It's the sheriff and his
men. They've stolen all our food and

126
00:09:32,230 --> 00:09:33,610
taken the children to the castle.

127
00:09:33,950 --> 00:09:38,230
Yes, and they took my pet hedgehog and
they're going to bake him in his jacket.

128
00:09:38,450 --> 00:09:40,850
And it's a brand new jacket.

129
00:09:41,590 --> 00:09:44,410
Well, I'm not sure. We've closed the
office, you see.

130
00:09:44,890 --> 00:09:47,350
There's not much call for the merry men
round here anymore.

131
00:09:47,830 --> 00:09:49,810
Rubbish! Of course we'll help you.

132
00:09:50,630 --> 00:09:55,150
All right, all right, let me handle
this, please.

133
00:09:56,190 --> 00:10:00,670
Yes, good people of Worksop, we will
come to your rescue. In the name of King

134
00:10:00,670 --> 00:10:05,730
Richard, the true monarch of all
England, the merry men will free your

135
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:06,870
from the tyrants...

136
00:10:20,940 --> 00:10:22,580
Now, this is your Uncle Graham. Hello.

137
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,300
This is your Uncle Gary.

138
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:27,220
And I'm your Uncle Sheriff.

139
00:10:29,620 --> 00:10:34,460
We've brought you here because this
afternoon we've got a very special guest

140
00:10:34,460 --> 00:10:39,800
coming to the castle and you're going to
give him a lovely surprise, OK?

141
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:42,400
Shut up!

142
00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:48,780
Now, when he gets here, there'll be
no... Nobody else here at all. Then, on

143
00:10:48,780 --> 00:10:52,600
table, he'll spy a huge, scrumptious
banquet.

144
00:10:52,900 --> 00:10:57,280
And the moment he tippy -toes towards
it, you'll burst out of your hidey

145
00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:00,920
dressed in sweet little costumes and you
will recite this.

146
00:11:01,340 --> 00:11:06,560
And it'll be sweet and it'll be lovely
and it'll make our special guest feel

147
00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:12,420
warm inside, won't it? Because if he
doesn't feel all warm inside, he'll sack

148
00:11:12,420 --> 00:11:16,270
boss. And if he sacks my boss, my boss
will say... I

149
00:11:16,270 --> 00:11:24,750
think

150
00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:31,690
they're a bit scared of you, sir.
Nonsense.

151
00:11:31,770 --> 00:11:33,070
They love me. Watch this.

152
00:11:35,030 --> 00:11:36,250
Hello, little boy.

153
00:11:36,450 --> 00:11:39,170
That's a very smart -looking teddy.
What's he called?

154
00:11:39,590 --> 00:11:42,270
Ripoff. Oh, hello, Ripoff.

155
00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:49,060
Tell me, Ripoff, are the boys and girls
going to have a lovely time at the

156
00:11:49,060 --> 00:11:50,060
surprise party?

157
00:11:50,220 --> 00:11:52,460
They certainly are, Uncle Sheriff.

158
00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:56,220
So tell them to wipe their little eyes
right now.

159
00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:59,080
He spoke to me. Did you hear him?

160
00:11:59,940 --> 00:12:02,600
Well, you'd better stop crying then,
wouldn't you?

161
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:08,320
See, they adore me. This is going to be
great. You get them into their costumes

162
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,140
and start rehearsing. You come with me.

163
00:12:21,420 --> 00:12:25,440
do it and say, excuse me, I've come to
rescue the children. No, stop whinging,

164
00:12:25,580 --> 00:12:26,680
Robin. We'll find her.

165
00:12:27,020 --> 00:12:28,020
Wait a minute.

166
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:29,120
That cart.

167
00:12:29,260 --> 00:12:30,600
Quick, in you get.

168
00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:37,040
But we won't be able to start it. Why
not, Guy? Because we haven't got a key.

169
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:40,160
Rabies, you don't need a key to start a
horse and cart.

170
00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:40,979
Don't you?

171
00:12:40,980 --> 00:12:43,100
No, we can jump start it. What?

172
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:46,740
Look, you take these two bits of wires,
right? You stick them in the back of the

173
00:12:46,740 --> 00:12:48,300
horse. The horse jumps forward.

174
00:13:11,109 --> 00:13:17,670
Majesty. Here is the key. I knew it. I
knew it. No, it's just that we were

175
00:13:17,670 --> 00:13:19,990
wondering if we could borrow the
royalty's debt.

176
00:13:20,290 --> 00:13:24,950
What? Well, you do want to make a good
impression, don't you? Well, yes. Yes,

177
00:13:24,950 --> 00:13:26,590
course. Of course I do. Yes, it's under
there.

178
00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:29,070
But if you damage it, you die.

179
00:13:29,510 --> 00:13:33,110
It's worth more to me than you've earned
in your entire life.

180
00:13:33,430 --> 00:13:34,710
What, more than 87p?

181
00:13:36,150 --> 00:13:39,930
Do you know how this just came into my
family's flying ball?

182
00:13:40,490 --> 00:13:45,350
It was given to my great -great -great
-great -grandfather, King William, by a

183
00:13:45,350 --> 00:13:48,670
grateful merchant whose life he saved.
So it's precious to me.

184
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:49,870
Understand?

185
00:13:50,710 --> 00:13:54,170
Now, I know I shouldn't say this because
I made them myself, but I think those

186
00:13:54,170 --> 00:13:56,030
costumes are really effective.

187
00:13:58,050 --> 00:13:59,930
Now, help yourself to a couple of these.

188
00:14:06,530 --> 00:14:09,770
Now, you're the littlest, so you get a
big...

189
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:17,020
Now, let's do it again with the words
and the movements. Only this time,

190
00:14:17,020 --> 00:14:18,020
your little things, OK?

191
00:14:19,020 --> 00:14:21,060
One, two, three, four.

192
00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:23,620
God save our gracious king.

193
00:14:23,820 --> 00:14:25,780
Oh, whoever's that?

194
00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:29,000
Come on, we're rehearsing.

195
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:32,220
That was interesting about William the
Conqueror, sire.

196
00:14:32,510 --> 00:14:35,350
How did he save the grateful merchant's
life, then? He said, if you give me the

197
00:14:35,350 --> 00:14:37,910
tea head, I won't kill you. Oh, what a
lovely story.

198
00:14:38,250 --> 00:14:41,510
It gives you a warm glow inside, doesn't
it? Yeah, like the feeling you get when

199
00:14:41,510 --> 00:14:42,650
you sit on a red -hot poker.

200
00:14:45,090 --> 00:14:47,830
Pizzas? Yes, me old matey. Here's the
order.

201
00:14:48,230 --> 00:14:50,670
Five jumbo -sized pizzas for the castle.

202
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,730
But we haven't ordered any pizzas.

203
00:14:53,190 --> 00:14:54,129
Are we there yet?

204
00:14:54,130 --> 00:14:55,130
Shut up. Eh?

205
00:14:56,370 --> 00:14:59,550
Shut up, shut up for the night, I add,
when the order came in.

206
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:03,340
pizzas is my trade, and what I says
is... Right.

207
00:15:04,420 --> 00:15:05,480
Who's ordered pizza?

208
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:11,280
I don't know. It's on here, Squire. And
what I says is, if the customer orders a

209
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:13,220
pizza, the customer gets a pizza.

210
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,620
Five jumbo -sized pizzas with extra
olives?

211
00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:18,280
Yes, in the name of Joe.

212
00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:21,200
Who? Never heard of him. Sorry, but
you'll have to take your pizzas

213
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:25,280
But if I don't... Off you go. I can't
waste any more of my precious time. I've

214
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:26,580
got a rehearsal to attend with you.

215
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:28,880
Wait a minute.

216
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,200
Well, they're gone.

217
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,880
Now, let's think this through carefully.

218
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:37,880
We came out of King John's bedroom. And
you said if you'd stayed in there a

219
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:40,220
minute longer, you'd have thrown up all
over his bedspread. All right, all

220
00:15:40,220 --> 00:15:43,180
right. And we came down the corridor
carrying the tea set.

221
00:15:44,580 --> 00:15:45,580
The tea set.

222
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,000
The tea set!

223
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:49,620
You! Come back!

224
00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:53,080
Come back this instant!

225
00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:56,140
You can't have that tea set! It's worth
a fortune!

226
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,140
Is it? Oh, good!

227
00:16:16,010 --> 00:16:17,610
That again your wonderfulness?

228
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:20,470
Nottingham, have you got a sore throat?

229
00:16:20,890 --> 00:16:23,150
No. Would you like one?

230
00:16:23,810 --> 00:16:25,530
No, my lord, certainly not.

231
00:16:25,850 --> 00:16:31,150
Gary, round up a posse. A thousand gold
pieces to the man who finds the teethet.

232
00:16:31,310 --> 00:16:34,670
Will this one do, sire? A posse, Gary, a
posse.

233
00:16:35,590 --> 00:16:36,590
Don't worry, my lord.

234
00:16:36,910 --> 00:16:40,630
They'll be on their knees begging for
mercy in five minutes.

235
00:16:41,690 --> 00:16:42,790
Yes, how long?

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00:16:43,150 --> 00:16:44,150
Five minutes each.

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00:16:44,850 --> 00:16:45,850
Nottingham!

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00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:52,600
You've lost them. I'll take the tip of
your tongue in one hand and with the

239
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,060
other... No, no, no, you're wonderful,
Miss Wake. Please.

240
00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:56,920
Don't you remember?

241
00:16:57,280 --> 00:17:01,780
What? Well, if I'm not mistaken...
Graham, could you go over to that bush

242
00:17:01,780 --> 00:17:02,780
pull that branch, please?

243
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,359
What? This one?

244
00:17:05,420 --> 00:17:07,040
Just as I saw. You're right.

245
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:14,829
Their hideout should be just around
the... My Lord, it... I

246
00:17:14,829 --> 00:17:18,869
may just add a word... No, you may not.
Look, just go and get the tea set and

247
00:17:18,869 --> 00:17:21,670
let's get out of here. It's just that
I've been in this sort of situation

248
00:17:21,670 --> 00:17:24,450
before. Look, Dick is going to turn up
at the castle any minute now.

249
00:17:24,670 --> 00:17:27,010
But it's just the sort of thing that...
There'll be no -one to meet him.

250
00:17:27,270 --> 00:17:32,210
No banquet, no tea set. It's possibly
the end of my highly promising career.

251
00:17:32,290 --> 00:17:34,530
Yes, but you think everything is going
just the way you want it. And definitely

252
00:17:34,530 --> 00:17:37,570
the end of your highly pathetic life.
And then you find you've been lured

253
00:17:37,570 --> 00:17:38,570
into... Nottingham!

254
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,400
closer, please. You!

255
00:18:36,970 --> 00:18:41,350
table is a string, the other end of
which is attached to a small child.

256
00:18:41,710 --> 00:18:45,750
Take one step forward, I shall give the
order to pull, and the table will

257
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:48,470
collapse. That tea set belongs to the
National...

258
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:09,020
home again, everything's going to be all
right, isn't it? Are you blind?

259
00:20:09,660 --> 00:20:11,900
Look at him. He's a dead ringer for his
brother.

260
00:20:12,740 --> 00:20:15,620
They're all the same, these royals.
Don't be ridiculous.

261
00:20:17,020 --> 00:20:22,460
Your Highness, I am only a poor, rather
attractive servant girl. But I beg you,

262
00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:23,600
give me leave to speak.

263
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,740
Your request is granted.

264
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,860
Have you seen the poverty in which these
people live?

265
00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:30,039
I have.

266
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:33,320
And the injustice and cruelty meted out
to them? I have.

267
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:43,720
Indeed I have. And all I can say is,
well done.

268
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,260
Sorry? John.

269
00:20:49,140 --> 00:20:53,340
When I left with the Crusades, I thought
you would make a bad king.

270
00:20:53,580 --> 00:20:54,840
But I was mistaken.

271
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,140
You have ruled my people wisely and
well.

272
00:20:58,380 --> 00:21:03,520
You've maintained law and order, set up
an efficient tax system, and weeded out

273
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:04,560
the troublemakers.

274
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:07,020
Well, I did my best.

275
00:21:07,390 --> 00:21:12,670
I can go back to Beirut now with my mind
at rest, knowing that you and your men

276
00:21:12,670 --> 00:21:15,530
are making England great once again.

277
00:21:15,970 --> 00:21:16,970
Hip, hip!

278
00:21:17,210 --> 00:21:18,210
Hooray!

279
00:21:19,170 --> 00:21:20,170
Hooray!

280
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:49,080
Thank you. I'm sure he will.

281
00:21:49,380 --> 00:21:51,680
There's just one thing, Johnny. Yes,
Dickie?

282
00:21:51,900 --> 00:21:54,680
That little creep who did the demolition
job at our crockery.

283
00:21:55,700 --> 00:21:57,520
How shall we punish him?

284
00:21:58,180 --> 00:22:00,720
Make him eat every last piece of it?
Yes!

285
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,880
And then wash it down with a gallon of
quick -drying glue.

286
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:09,760
And then shake him up and down until
it's all stuck back together again.

287
00:22:09,980 --> 00:22:14,100
And then squeeze him so hard that the
entire tea service comes out again, cup

288
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:15,100
cup.

289
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:20,320
Not even half! Yes, Your Royal Highness?
Come on!

290
00:22:20,580 --> 00:22:21,580
Tea time!

291
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:23,160
Who, me?

292
00:22:24,420 --> 00:22:25,420
Certainly.

293
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:37,200
So that's it, is it? Back to the
village, flogging dead rats.

294
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,000
And bashing my head against trees.

295
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:40,320
And being an idiot.

296
00:22:40,580 --> 00:22:44,120
And making swanky underwear for stupid
noblemen. What?

297
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:48,360
Do you want to spend the rest of your
life... home in comfort and safety?

298
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:52,580
Well... Or would you rather live a life
of danger and hardships and adventures?

299
00:22:53,020 --> 00:22:56,920
I'm glad you asked me that, because I...
We may be just a small band, but our

300
00:22:56,920 --> 00:23:03,000
names will blaze through history like a
big blazer, and we'll be legends forever

301
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:07,420
and ever. And in years to come, people
will sit round watching our story on

302
00:23:07,420 --> 00:23:10,000
little glowing boxes, won't they? Yes!

303
00:23:10,500 --> 00:23:15,360
Well... Maid Marian and her merry men
will never die, Robin. I suppose not.

304
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,880
All right, back to a forest lifestyle it
is, then.

305
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:21,960
People watching us on little boxes?

306
00:23:22,220 --> 00:23:23,220
Honestly.

307
00:23:24,220 --> 00:23:25,220
Marion!

308
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:32,160
Why don't you carry on with what you're
doing?